A funny, yet somewhat sad, fairytale!
by ChibiSoulReader
Summary: A princess, proper, prim , sexy. "What's Sexy mean papa?" "It's what you are, or rather, what you will grow up to be." "Then I want to be the sexiest princess ever." "Can I be a sexy princess too father." "No Canada, sexy is not for you."
1. Chapter 1

_I am going to try making a fairytale now, cause…I can._

Chapter 1

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In a Kingdom far off in the middle of nowhere, but not far enough that it wasn't off the map there lived as usual, a rich noble family.

There was the king, he wasn't very nice, he made little progress with his kingdom but none of that mattered because he had nice hair. Very nice, silky, golden hair and went by the name of King Francis.

In his royal room, looking at his magical mirror that hung on the wall, he stared at his sexy reflection.

"Oui, I look good today again, but it never hurts to ask." Facing the mirror the king called out the magic words in an accent heavy with seductive French pronunciation.

_Mirror, Mirror…On ze wall..._

_Tell me I'm Sexy._

King Francis watched and waited but nothing happened.

"Okay, so we're being funny today." Taking off his shoe he began to bang on the glass. "Tell me I'm sexy. Tell me I'm sexy, right now!"

Francis stepped back and watched as the thick, yet attractive, agitated eyebrows appeared twitching somewhat eternally scarring the king.

"What Frog! I have a life too you know." The face of an English man glared at the king from the mirror. "What in the bloody hell do you want now, I'm not helping you pick out the best rose that will hide your Eiffel tower; we made a deal you sod, no more blinding the mirror remember."

"No, Arthur cher, it's different this time, Tell me I'm sexy."

Blankly Arthur shook his head at the king. It seemed to him like the king was a living fail, on so many levels, and nothing could help him.

"How many times do I have to tell you, those are not the words..."

_Francis argued that the original magical words took too long to say, the mirror argued that he was a bloody wanker and should try to remember something other than sexy fashion tips and positions all the time. Francis replied he couldn't help it, that was who he was, the mirror began to reply but it ended when Francis threatened to drop the mirror out of the highest tower in the castle. This is how he always wins their battles._

"So am I sexy or what mon cher?"

Echoing from the darkness of the mirror the face chanted these last words as he disappeared .

_Ugh…your golden hair none can compare _

_Your sexiness is ...blah blah blah._

_Yeah something that rhymes with the next line_

…_.I'm going to sleep, you look fine.._

…_..._

…_.. Bloody Wanker, wanker, wanker…._

"I knew it!" Happily the king ran to the throne where he called his two adorable children to greet him.

"Guess what mon petite, papa is the sexiest man alive, again, today."

"Hurray for you papa!" The little girl wrapped her small brown arms around the man's torso and hugged him lovingly.

From beside the throne chair the prince approached.

"Congratulations, father, although I don't see why you tell us this every day."

"Who was that...? Oh, Mathieu _mon cher._" Placing his arm on his son's shoulder the king looked deep into his eyes, like a pedophile at children and stated. " Mathieu, you will grow up to be a good, not as good as me, but a fairly good looking man that is hopefully strong and will be able to protect his sister Seychelles from the many evil men that will try to take her. It brings back tears as I remember that some, not nearly as good looking as me but slightly handsome-ish, man stole your sister Monaco, from us."

"But Father, Monaco left on her own…right." Being somewhat ignored King Francis continued his rant.

"Yes, she left, with that fairly handsome-ish stranger. Into the night they ran away together, leaving me with just two kids to split my large and outrageous fortune and kingdom with."

"I don't find any of this bad father."

"Me either, eh."

That's okay my children, papa will always protect you." Pulling Mathieu and Seychelles close, he hugged them tightly and lovingly.

"Papa, I can't breathe." Seychelles gagged

"Let, go…ple..ase, eh-" Mathiue chocked

"I'll never let go, papa loves you both so much, let us cherish this moment."

King Francis was so happy he didn't notice his children dying in his arms.

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Hey you there, the reader, thanks or reading

Review please and tell me what you think if you liked the story ;)..the beginning of it...maybe this is a prologue


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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After finally getting out of the death hug from their father Seychelles and Mathieu lingered around in the foyer looking for entertainment.

"Brother, I am bored in here." Looking out of a window she sighed wishing she could go beyond the walls of the castle. "I want to go play outside in the courtyard, will you join me?"

Mathieu took his little sisters hand and led her outside to play.

"Okay Seychelles, play as long as you like, but don't go to far into the large court yard." Hinting at some foreshadowing Prince Mathieu turned his back and began to chase and catch butterflies, for this is what real princes do.

Heading towards the back of the court yard, because little kids are mischievous like that, Seychelles came to a stop at the tall cement wall that surrounded the castle.

_I don't know why father and brother are so protective of me, I hardly ever go anywhere._

"I wonder what's on the other side…Father never let's me leave the kingdom…" Seychelles ran her hand along the side of the wall as she walked along and began to daydream about what was possibly on the other side.

Sadly, it is true, yes Seychelles was a sheltered princess, the only time she'd ever went beyond the castle wall was a long time ago when she accidentally fell asleep in an empty bread basket and was dumped out with the trash while in it. Fortunately for her, when some poor old and hungry English beggar went through the trash looking for food, he thought he hit the jackpot when he saw Seychelles light chocolate skin in the basket, mistaking her for bread. But alas, she was a baby and eating babies is wrong….unless your into cannibalism… then it would be considered okay, but whoa, we're off subject now. Anyways, the English man decided to keep the baby, even though he was poor, and brought her to his hermit cottage into woods. It was exactly one week later the English man was arrested for the kidnapping of baby Princess Seychelles. At the end of his rope, and poor food supply, he tried to sell/trade her for food in a farmer's market in the kingdom, and it didn't go to well, I mean, it would have gone well if he hadn't tried to sell her for 420 francis coins, normally babies are 12 . In the end Seychelles was returned to the castle and put under severe kingdom watch, the most anal of them all, for a while. Thankfully, she doesn't remember any of it and continues to think of herself as a locked away princess that has never left the castle, not even to join in a sing-a-long with the forest animals .

Walking along the wall Seychelles looked up and saw a shining bleu light between two trees. From a distance she tried to look through but it was too blurry and the trees were so densly packed she couldn't look through them either.

"Either this will progress the story or kill me instantly..." Seychelles thought as she stared at the light. "No, it's probably just another secret area where papa takes ladies and I'm not allowed..."

Seychelles turned around and began to head towards the castle when she looked down and saw something wrapped around her leg, a vine. Looking back to vine had come out of the light and was now pulling her back toards it.

Seychelles now thought of the only option princesses had when they're in any type of danger, faint and wait for a prince to save you, that or scream, and _then _wait for a prince to save you. After the savior arives and saves you, both of you will ride off into a sunset and be married_. _Not really liking any of those choices since the only Prince around was her brother, and it would be a cold day in hell before that marriage happend, Seychelles began to claw at the vine and pull away. After sucessfully tearing the vine Seychelles looked up triupmhantly only to see an onsluaght of green vines wrap around her and began to pull her into the light.

"Oh, it had friends...Help!"

After a bright flash Seychelles was on the ground, looking up she watched the light dissapear and the vines knit together to close the gap of its emptyniess between the trees.

"O...kay..." Looking around Seychelles saw she was still in the forest, only now she was stuck in a circle of overlapping trees looking at an abandon fountain.

Seychelles got up and went towards the fountain, looking over at her reflection in the sparkling still water she wondered how water had gotten in the thing maybe there was an exit to the castle or something becuase this was wierd.

"Wow…I didn't know I was so…blonde and…ugly."

A huge pair of blue eyes stared back from the water.

"Who you callin' ugly? " Lifting up out of the water a boy with glasses stared back at the girl.

"I'll have you know I'm one of the most beautiful creatures in this _dump _you call a royal garden."

Shocked by the boy coming up from the water Seychelles, stared at the vibrant bleu fish tail attached to the boy's end, slowly she backed away.

"Holy fish?…are you a mermaid?" She said from a safe distance.

"Heck no! I'm Alfred the _merman _I'm not a pansy like Feliks! "

Alfred crossed his arms and laid down on the edge of the fountain observing the girl.

"Who's Feliks?"

"Feliks? He's an annoying girly fairy."

"Oooh, fairies are so~ pretty." Seychelles recalled the ones that her father had showed her and talked about in her bed time books, being small, dainty, and sexy…whatever that word meant.

"No, Fairies are dumb and mostly blonde, Mermen on the other hand are the masculine, cool, amazing, sexy, captivating creatures of the sea." Alfred lifted up and began to flex for the little girl but she was too busy using context clues to figure out what "sexy" meant.

"...Now, on to the three wishes you get from me."

"Wishes… why, you're magically inclined!" She ran up to the fountain to take a better look at the creature, well he did look kind of magical.

"Okay, chill on the big words and let me explain. Every so often sexy merman, such as myself, are sent to humans to practice their magic on, I mean, grant wishes.

"So, I'm a test dummy." She said staring into the water.

"You said it, not me. I was sent to this crap fountain to grant lucky little you a few wishes, so what's it gonna be girly?" Alfred looked into the water then waved his hand over it making the image of a tailor appear.

"Well…I do want a new dress, but then I'd need new accessories, and shoes and jewelry and…" She twirled around in her blue frilly princess dress imagining new clothes.

"Okay, think bigger." Alfred rolled his sparkling bleu eyes, and yeah, they sparkle! Everyone knows all mythical creatures have sparkling eyes. An image of a princess riding a horse through a meadow projected in the air .

"Yes, YES! The new limited edition medieval collectable princess Barbie doll and horse!" Seychelles yelled as she watched the image gallop around.

"Come on! You can do better than that I know." The poor merman motioned towards engarvments in the fountain, an open door letting water pour out. "I finally get to grant a wish and she wants clothes and dolls, typical human girl."

"Well…um…" Seychelles looked to where the boyfish was pointing. "A bigger bathroom...that isn't connected to brother's room...?"

"No, dear god no! You can't read between the lines can you?A princess always want to venture outside the castle, where have you been all your life girly?"

"In the castle…" She answered, slightly confused_. Oh so that's what those images were about..._

"Exactly." Alfred wrapped his tail around the little girl's waist and lifted her in the air and over the fountain.

"What are you doing…some kind of ritual?"

"Um, no…. just hold your breath."

Seychelles breathed into her hands and held them together tightly. "I'm holding it! Now what?"

"….ugh god, that's not what I meant…Oh just forget it." Alfred dove into the fountain bringing Seychelles down with him.

"Wait! I'm not allowed to get this dress we-"

_Woah…I thought this was a shallow fountain…. We're going down pretty deep….Why am I holding my breath….I feel dizzy…Did Mathieu eat the last cookie?_

Speaking of Mathieu, who had just finished up catching pretty butterflies, was now walking around the courtyard looking for Seychelles. Don't worry, we will only follow him for a second or two because we know his search is pointless. Knowing she couldn't have gotten lost in there, even though it was huge, he told her to stay near the front and of course she is obedient, he scratched his head all confused like.

"Seychelles, where are you?" Mathieu asked aloud, then smiled as a memory from his past briefly invaded his already short scene. "What? Hey-

* * *

XxXflash backXxX

"Fine Seychelles! I'll play with you!" Agitated young Mathieu glared down at his little sister.

"Yay! Wha 'do we pway? Wha 'do we pway!"

"Hide and I seek. You hide, I'll seek…I guess."

"O K Maffdew." Baby Princess Seychelles skipped off to hide.

Young Mathieu counted to 10 and then went to look for his younger sister. After 4 or less minutes of deliberately walking in circles he gave up and went to play 'Dragon Slayers' with his elder sister Monaco, who had just gotten done packing for a trip. Hours later King Francis came to his children looking seriously upset.

"Mon petite have you seen your little sister?"

"No father." Monaco stabbed her brother with a fake sword and he fell over dead-ish like.

"Uh, I'm dying…and no…I havent seen her."

_Oh no, Seychelles is lost, she will surely starve and die somewhere in this huge and large asset of a castle…oh well more inheritance for me._

Mathieu later regretted that statement for if Seychelles had really died, King Francis would have never stopped crying and god was that annoying. Seychelles this and Seychelles that, he had two perfectly healthy kids walking around, well actually now one kid because Monaco had left that day too, but the only thing he could concentrate on was the youngest.

Luckily a few days later, it was found out that Seychelles had been kidnapped by some creepy English guy with huge eyebrows. I mean that isn't lucky, but she was found alive so yes it is. She was brought safely back to the castle, told the king about her hide and seek adventure, then went to bed. The man was dealt with by father who stopped crying, thank god. Oh, and Mathieu was punished severely for lying, only half a maple pancake at breakfast.

XxXFlash back endXxX

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"Wow, did I really say that?"

Mathieu regretted his younger attitude towards his sister and continued to look for her, being older, and slightly more responsible, he would do anything to protect his younger sibling.

"Mathieu cher, what are you doing outside, it's getting dark." From one of the smaller towers in the castle King Francis, in his bathrobe, looked down at his son.

"Oh…the usual…playing with Seychelles…just us two…out here…playing…together." Trying too hard to sound normal the king scoped the gardens from the tower.

"And…where is Seychelles, Mathieu?"

"Oh she's here….certainly not kidnapped or lost like last time you left her in my care…."

"Mathieu I-"

"OH LOOKY! She's over there, I'll get her and we'll be inside soon eh." Dashing off, for this is how princes run, Mathieu went to retrieve his imaginary sister.

King Francis sighed and went to go rinse the deep conditioning out of his hair, knowing Mathieu didn't lose his youngest daughter again because he was older and slightly more responsible the King decided to deep deep condition his hair for an extra silky shine.

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. thanks for reading! Did you like, tell me what you think I do this all for you and reviews only make it better, much better!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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"Hey, hey wake up!"

Seychelles awoke looking into the worried sparkling eyes of Alfred.

"Don't die on me now…another dead princess is all I need, do I ever get a break." His hand gently patted her face.

"Where am - . Seychelles leaned over coughing up water on a floating wooden board, Alfred patted her back trying to help. ".…W..what happened?"

"You're outside of the castle babe, just like you wanted…you fell a sleep underwater or drowned slightly, no biggie really cause you're still alive."

Seychelles rubbed her eyes and looked around at the vast blue sea that surrounded her, no land in sight just water, lots and lots of water, she looked back at the smiling merman.

"Okay… take me home please." She stated blankly.

"No way!" Alfred threw his hands up in protest unintentionslly splashing Seychelles with water." Do you know how long it took me to bring you here and now you wanna go back…I don't think so." Alfred began to slowly swim backwards away from the floating board.

"Wait a minute…what are you doing, you're not going to leave me here are you ?!" She reached out to him, it didn't really do much.

"Relax, you've got two more wishes Princess." Alfred began to swim circles around the board, smiling at Seychelles as he explained. "I'll be in back two days time, the limit between wishes, so think up a good one and don't freak out, you'll have plenty of fun out here."

"Don't _freak out?!_ I'm in the middle of nowhere on a board, in an ocean, alone!" Starting to panic some, Seychelles used her hands and tried to paddled towards him, it wasn't going well because the merman playfully stopped the board then spun it around in circles and quickly swam away.

"Alfred?!" Agitated Seychelles yelled. "What will I do out here?"

"You'll wait, like a good damsel in distress." The merman waved good bye and dove into the water.

"Wait! What is a damsel?" Seychelles cried out on the spinning board feeling sea sick for the first time.

XxXxX

Back at the castle, Mathieu had decided to take action, after skillfully dodging his father with more "Look! There she is." statements and then running away, he went to the Knights quarters to ask a friend for a favor.

The naked knight jumped out of bed and saluted the prince as he entered his room. "Milord it's an honor to see you this evening, on my off day, what is up?"

Mathieu quickly shut the door.

"Sir Beilschmidt, I require your assistance."

The knight ran around his small box like room looking for clothes as the prince sat on his bed and waited.

"My Awesome ass is up for anything prince…uh, Charles….what's your name again?"

"That's close enough sir Beilschmidt, and well, the thing is…Seychelles has been kidnapped."

"So, you lost Princess Seychelles again…how un awesome."

"Why does everyone blame me…accidents happen!" Mathieu feel on his knees in protest and grabbed the knights arm.

The knight gently un-clamped the Princes fingers and backed away because he was still naked and that would have been an awkward scene for anyone to walk in on."Well she's always seen last with you that's why."

"Ugh that's not a good reason at all." Mathieu got up headed for the door as the knight finally put on some pants.

Sir Beilschmidt grabbed his sword and armor then followed the prince outside. "Anyways, where was the last place she was seen?"

"I know that she's nowhere in the castle, or gardens, or courtyard, or minibar…not that she'd go there, so I'd come to the conclusion that she has been kidnapped, again! Let us check in town for the culprit." Patting the prince on the back the knight stopped and looked down at his feet.

"I forgot my shoes prince…so can I go and..."

"No, hungry cannibalistic psychos could be torchering my sister right now and all you care about is shoes?!." Mathieu waved his hands wildly and continued walking to the castle exit.

"I'm…sorry?" Confused Sir Beilschmidt followed and cringed as he walked on the cold stone floor. _Damn I wish carpet was invented already._

Prince Mathieu and sir Beilschmidt went outside and headed towards the castle bridge.

"Come here my noble steed!" Prince Mathieu called for his horse, which was technically a long stick with the stuffed head of a toy horse attached to the front end.

"Lower the Gate!" The guards did as they were commanded and watched as prince and knight crossed the moat.

"Away Maple!" Upon smacking his own ass Mathieu began to gallop off into the sunset towards the town, for that is how real princes roll.

"I swear the prince has had to much maple ale sometimes." Ignoring the weirdness of what he just saw Sir Beilschmidt, or Gilbert because it's shorter, whistled for his trusty transport and companion Gilbird. A huge yellow chicken, about the size of your normal baby dragon, gracefully fell from the top of a castle tower where it was perched, Gilbert hopped on.

"Away with us Gilbird, to town !" Hopping gracefully, for chickens ironically can not fly, Gilbird set on towards the town.

xXxXx

The sun had finally gone down and the gentle rocking of the sea tempted Seychelles to fall asleep on the board. She would have and left her life in the hands of the ocean if a large ship didn't pull up beside her violently shaking her awake.

"Hola!"

She looked up at the huge ship, and saw a tan man looking back at her. "What?"

"Hola!" The man waved at her.

"What?!" Seychelles put her hand to her ear unable to understand him.

"Que?"

"What?!"

"Que?!"

"Huh!?"

"Hol-!

"Shut up you dumb bastard what are you doing!? I'm trying to steer."

"Una bella chica en el mar!*"

"You don't just find beautiful girls swimming in the middle of nowhere idiot. Besides, how dumb is she to swim in that ocean when it's almost night time and in the middle of nowhere? You stupid…"

"Hello! is there anyone up there?! Please help me!"

Rushing to the side of the boat the young boy looked over, and was instantly annoyed by what he saw.

"Sorry lady, we barely have enough food for us, you'll just have to wait for the next pirate ship or something…!" Quickly the boy turned away and went back to the steering wheel. The ship began to turn and slowly pull away from her.

"No wait, please don't leave me down here! I don't want to stay on this board!" Seychelles used her hands and tried to paddle towards the boat, not that it was doing much but she tried anyways. "Stop, Please!"

From the top of the boat Seychelles could hear the boy yelling. "Not our problem girly, I'm sure…wait, …what the hell are you doing…put that down, you bastard!"

A long rope was cast off the side of the ship, and the tan man looked over the rail and smiled at her . "Take hold bella."

Quickly she grabbed the dangling end and held on tightly. Letting the man pull her up, because scaling the side of a boat in a dress was nearly impossible, she smiled apologetically up at him.

"I'm sorry if I'm heavy sir!" Taking his hand, once close enough, he easily pulled Seychelles over.

"No Bella, your quite light." She blushed as he helped her over the side. "Welcome aboard my vessel Bella, I'm Captain Antonio Fernandez Carriedo and this is my first mate, Lovino Vargas!"

He said all of that in a sexy spanish accent and then Captain Antonio leaned on the side of the ship rail and pointed up to his first mate at the wheel above them like some male model for boats, in short, he had a very charming and sensual air. "Say hi to her Lovi." The boy glared daggers down from the wheel.

Seychelles looked at him, her eyes filled with wonder and he quickly turned away confused about why his dagger glare didn't work. Never had seychelles seen something, or anything, as magnificent as this ship, besides the merman, or the two men on board. They were dressed in such different clothes, much different from anything she'd seen her father or brother wear.

The boy steering, or first mate Lovino, avoided eye contact with her, which isn't hard when you have an eye patch on. His short brown hair was covered with a striped black and red bandana and his clothes were simple, black pants with a red sash, and a dinge white button up shirt that was completely unbuttoned but tucked into the sash, sort of, and black sandals.

_What's the point of that…he could catch a cold …maybe he doesn't know his shirt is open? Is he missing an eye?_

The tall man, or Captain Antonio, was wearing a black hat and long coat trimmed in gold, his long hair was tied together with a red string and laid across his left shoulder. Underneath the coat he had on a tan shirt tucked into a red sash over some dark red pants which stopped at the knee and went into black boots. The captain was decorated with needless jewels and earrings everywhere, and this kind of reminded Seychelles of her father's horrible flamboyant fashion but, there was one jewel that was most intriguing to her and hung on a thin golden chain around his neck.

_Oooo that red pendant on the end is so shiny…that would match my favorite red dress back at home… _

She stared at it until the captain closed his jacket, then instantly she was brought back to her senses.

"Oh, Thank you for saving me Captain Antonio Fernandez Carriedo." She curtsied and continued. " Your ship is amazing, I've never seen a real one before…besides the toys one brother plays with in the bath…and your clothes…are you merchants, real live merchants or bounty hunter, brother always talks about how they sail around the world."

"No problem Bella but, actually we are …"

"Shut the hell up!" Lovino jumped over the stairs from the wheel interrupting the captain.

"We don't even know her!" He said while pulling Antonio's hat down over his face. "You always talk to much, that's how we get in trouble and you, ocean girl, who are you, what's your name, and why the _fuck _are you in the middle of the sea, what the hell is wrong with you, you wanna die!?" Lovino crossed his arms and stared at the girl with a 'are you an idiot?' face. Seychelles just stared back at him shocked at his tone towards her. No one had ever yelled at her before and now as the boy stood glaring at her she was beginning to feel something she never felt before.

"Well, say something! You owe your life to us now, we could have let you die out there but we didn't _we _saved you."

"I…" Backing up she bumped into Captain Antonio tipping herself over a bit. Thankfully he caught her and she looked up at him, small tears had formed in the corners of her eyes.

"Lovi! You're making her sad." Antonio put his arm around Seychelles and began to lead her to a door under the steering wheel. "Come here with Captain Antonio, no need to cry, I will make it better."

Lovino's mouth hit the floor as the captain led the girl away.

"What the hell, I just asked her a question!" He pulled his bandana off and threw it to the ground cursing the captain. "Damn it, another mouth to feed, LIKE WE AREN'T POOR ENOUGH!."

Romano followed the two under the ship's deck complaining. "I don't know where she's sleeping but it's not in my room, hell she can sleep on deck for all I care! Why the hell are you being so nice to her!? …What the hell are you doing, that's my room, you BASTARD!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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"Um…Prince, Charles?…" _Damn, that's not right... I think._

Puzzled a bit, Sir Gilbert jumped down from Gilbird's back and headed for the prince. "Prince… how are we going to find her, it's dark as hell out here and we don't exactly have road lights ya know." Gilbert looked up and down the dark dirt paths they called roads. "I think-"

"Shhhh." Prince Mathieu slowly approached a cottage. "While the people are sleeping we will quietly search their homes, we're sure to find her in one of them, if not, then we shall search somewhere else till we find her."

"So you're positive someone kidnapped her again?"

"Of course! That's the only explanation to her disappearance eh."

"So, we're also breaking and entering, isn't that illegal…and punishable by an un awesome death of burning at the stake my prince?"

"…My little sister could be tied upside down somewhere getting urinated on, we have no time to think about possibly dying Sir Beilschmidt." Prince Mathieu picked the lock and opened the door of the first small house, quietly entering with Sir Gilbert.

"What an un-awesome thought, thanks prince, I mean that wasn't the least bit disturbing or anything…all I'm saying is I can go get a royal warrant to be safe… by the way Prince, since when can you pick locks?"

"We have no time for warrants, they could have stripped her bare and have her working as a nudist maid by the time we get the warrant, now quiet please my lock picking skills are not important right now, we must hurry eh."

"What is it with you thinking up these extremely un- awesome situations happening to the princess ?"

Prince Mathieu shushed Sir Gilbert as he pushed open the door and headed in. Slowly they made their way up the stairs and began to check the rooms.

"I don't see any signs of her Prince Charles…"

"Me either, I don't think she's here, to the next house."

Prince Mathieu led Sir Gilbert to the local shoemaker across the street.

"Why would the shoe maker kidnap her?"

While breaking and entering again Prince Mathieu motioned for Sir Gilbert to follow him into the store slash house.

"Sir Beilschmidt, why do keep questioning me, isn't it obvious…Shoemakers are desperate and twisted people that love and are obsessed with covering one's foot with the fancy cloth of a cows hide, they can't be trusted."

"….You mean, leather shoes, like these my prince." Gilbert quickly tried on a pair and modeled one foot.

"Yes, much like those eh!"

"They're awesome aren't they, maybe I should buy them?…hmm."

"Oh yes, they look very nice on you." The prince looked over at a fancier leather pair. "Oh, these complement my highlights very nice!"

Suddenly a candle light was shone on them by an angry blonde boy who stood at the edge of the steps.

"What are you doing my house!?… with my expensive leather shoes, on you'r dirty ugly feet!" The boy's left eye twitched unconrolably in anger.

"Now, I'm sure that since your a peasant your feet are a more dirty than mine." Gilbert turned towards the Prince Mathieu looking for agreement .

"Lilli, GET MY GUN!" Yelled the blonde boy as a little girl came down the steps, rifle in hand.

Prince Mathieu and Sir Gilbert ran out the door as gunshot were heard from behind.

"Gilbird?! Where are you!?"

Outside Prince Mathieu grabbed his horse and told Sir Gilbert to hop on.

"You, have got to be kidding! Are you insane? How are we supposed to ride that thing together?!"

"Take my hand if you want to live Gilbert!" Reluctantly, Gilbert put his leg over the stick.

"Away Maple!" The prince yelled triumphantly while reaching around.

"Please don't smack my ass, that would be so un- awesome."Gilbert said while he guided his hand back to the horse's stick neck.

-BANG-

Straw and brown cloth rained everywhere as Sir Gilbert looked over to see what had been obliterated. The shoemaker had aimed the gun at them with the intent to kill but thankfully his little sister had grabbed his arm and tugged it over, begging him not to, which changed the target from Prince Mathieu's head to the head of Maple, The Royal Horse.

"…MAPLE!" Prince Mathieu dropped to his knees clutching the stick to his chest. "You, were the best -sniffle- horse ever… eh!"

"Yes, he was quite awesome but Prince, I'd like to inform you we have to get the fuck out of here! Just thought I'd let you know."

"Aiya! Why is our front door wide open? What's going on out here aru?" A group of Asians poured out of the previously searched house awaken by the gun shots.

" I think we were robbed Da ze!" Said the annoying looking one.

"Hmm probably….probably not." Said the blank poker faced one.

"They did it! He stole our items." The shoemaker yelled.

Sir Gilbert looked down at what the shoemaker was pointing at. It was either,

A. the crying prince

B. the obliterated horse and stick

or

C. A sexy knight in some awesome unpaid for leather shoe.

It's was probably D. none of the above but Sir Gilbert didn't want to take any chances angering the towns people. Stepping forward he raised his hands to get everyones attensin and calm them down

"People people, this is Prince Charles, and he will explain everything, right prince?"

Sir Gilbert was ignored by Prince Mathieu, who was now bent over on all fours in the remains of Maple's head straw, sobbing hysterically.

"Why maple?! Why take maple! WHY NOT ME GOD?! Why not meee?" -sobsob-

"This all looks un awesome right now, but I can explain shoemaker, Prince get up and do something princely." Gilbert whispered to the prince.

"Explain something to these BULLETS!" Again the shoemaker aimed for the kill.

"Brother no!" Cried the little girl, which didn't really help much.

"You can't kill me, I'm an AWESOME knight of the King Francis!" Gilbert boasted as the boy shot.

The suddenly a scream echoed through the town. "My leg!"

Gilbert looked down at Prince Mathieu who was now holding his leg and crying in pain instead of mourning. More towns people came out with weapons and joined in the confusion.

"He stole my favorite shaved ice maker!" Yelled the Cuban townsman with a gun.

"That blonde stole my vampire fangs, how will I go to Halloween parties now?" Cried the Romanian towns boy with a sharp butcher's knife.

"I'm pretty sure he drank all the ale in our house! Right guys?"

"…No Denmark, that was you…ghoul saw you drinking it."

"Ple'se ju't s'ut u', w' k'ow th't w's y'u."

"Well Sorry!… Nothing happens in this kingdom anyways, lets just take them as prisoners and burn them at the stake!"

"For once I agree with you Denmark."

"Finally Norway!" Pulling out an axe, and encourage all other to do the same and pull out equally sharp and dangerous things, Denmark and the towns people advanced. "Let's get this burning party started!"

The towns people began to circle the crying prince and the now scared shitless knight.

_What kind of towns people burn things for fun…pyromaniacs? _

Just as Sir Gilbert was about to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness...I mean, pull out his sword and fight his way out of there with the prince on his shoulder, a large shadow appeared in the sky and blocked out the moon causing a temporary moment of complete darkness. Then the sun came out! Or rather, Gilbird was dropping from the sky and when the moonbeams from the moon hit his golden feathers, though some scientific explanation that can not be explained because we're in the medieval era or so, he was glowing, and as he dropped down, Sir Gilbert scooped up prince Mathieu under his arm and grabbed Gilbird's claw just as he bounced away.

"Wh't 'n t'e he'l i' th't?" Said the, blonde, tall, sexy, sensual, and manly Nordic townsman with a sexy swedish accent.

"It was an angel da ze." Yelled the Korean townsman as they watched the yellow light fade away in the distance.

"Then, why is it bouncing?" Asked the poker faced Asian.

"Thy be bouncing witches!" Yelled Denmark. "Let us take heed, and go after them! "

"One, why are talking like that and two, why would we chase them if their witches, we are towns people." The Nordic boy with the floating hair strand shook his head and led his younger brother into their cottage.

"Because Nor, I felt like playing my towns person role to the fullest and..." Denmark began to whine. "Why can't we go after them? I'm so bored here all I ever do is hit on you and steal swed's ale." Denmark headed into the cottage so he could complain some more about boring towns life.

Over at the Shoemakers house Lilli tried desperately to convince her brother that really, the leather shoe wasn't _that _expensive and he didn't have to go after it but it was to late. Vash, in his best tunic, headed out with his best gun, and a small lunch packed by Lilli. Half way down the trail guilt ate at him for leaving his little sister alone in their house slash store. With no one to watch his sister, and he surely didn't trust anyone in pyro-town with her. He gave her his second best tunic, a bow and arrow, locked up shop, and told her to come along in his journey. He was getting his fucking shoe back no matter what.

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Thanks for reading! so how is it so far my readers?


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